stab me, watch me die.

i have seven more days to go before i can talk to him.

i hate that he's in a different city because i miss him so much. i hate that he will have to leave eventually. i hate that i cant see myself without him in the NEAR future. i hate that im in too deep.

i miss him terribly. i dont know if he thinks about me as often as i think about him, though. because honestly, i think about him every waking moment. its crazy, i shouldnt be doing so, but i can't help it. this is seriously driving me insane. i reckon i'm letting myself feel this way because soon enough, this will end and it will all be over. i don't expect him to stay or to keep telling me that he loves me. i don't expect that he'll stay with me, there are better, more good-looking women out there so much more worthy than i am. nothing seems enough to keep me busy, to keep me from thinking about it. he's right, i should sit back and relax.

here's a song for you:

don't know why I'm still afraid, if you weren't real I would make you up now. i wish that I could follow through, i know that your love is true and deep as the sea.

but right now everything you want is wrong, and right now all your dreams are waking up, and right now I wish I could follow you to the shores of freedom, where no one lives.

remember when we first met and everything was still a bet in love's game you would call; i'd call you back and then I'd leave a message on your answering machine.

but right now everything is turning blue, and right now the sun is trying to kill the moon, and right now I wish I could follow you to the shores of freedom, where no one lives.

Freedom - Run away tonight - Freedom, freedom - Run away - Run away tonight.

we're made out of blood and rust looking for someone to trust without a fight. I think that you came too soon you're the honey and the moon that lights up my night.

but right now everything you want is wrong, and right now all your dreams are waking up, and right now I wish that I could follow you to the shores of freedom where no one lives.

Freedom - Run away tonight - Freedom freedom - Run away - Run away tonight

we got too much time to kill like pigeons on my windowsill we hang around. ever since I've been with you you hold me up all the time I've falling down.

but right now everything is turning blue, and right now the sun is trying to kill the moon, and right now I wish I could follow you to the shores of freedom where no one lives.

hmm.. reading through the lyrics i reckon the song isnt for you. its more like its from you to me.

shit. i hate this.