post-you

"after all this time, i never thought we'd be here."

oh, you. i've got a notebook full of unsent letters. letters i never meant to send.

do you love him? *nods.*
are you gonna call him then? *shakes head.*
why not? *shrugs.*
do you want him to call you? *nods head vigorously.*
do you need him? *nods.*
do you think he needs you? *shakes head sadly.*
so what are you gonna do about it? *shrugs again.*

im gonna... dance.

dear you,

i reckon you're never gonna get to read this anyway so here goes nothing: you're great. you amaze me everytime we talk. i melt every time i see you and i dont want you to look into my eyes because then you'd see how much i miss and need you. i love you so much that it breaks my heart to pieces. i think of you often that your very smile occupies my every waking moment. your face is all i can think of that i even see you in my dreams.

yet amidst all this emotion, i am hurting. i know you dont want me to get hurt but i cant help but feel helpless. but, do let me feel this pain because it is this pain that wakes me up in the morning. if having you is painful, then i hope every part of my being aches because i wouldnt change it for the world.

in all this, though, i hope that you are happy, wherever you are. i hope that whoever you choose, you are happy. i wish that you are filled with love until you cannot hold it in anymore. i wish that you get all that your heart desires.

but if you feel that the world is too much to handle, remember that i'm still here, loving you always and praying for you. remember that you can run into these arms of mine and trust that i would never hurt you. remember that whatever happens, you still have me.

i love you still and always.



signed,


drunk and ugly.