Hang in there.

I sincerely thought that this year would be an incredible one for me. So many possibilities, or so I thought. I wasn’t expecting mom to get sick. And now so much of what I’ve been going through have stemmed from that. And I don’t know how I feel about that. 

I can’t begin to count how many times I’ve heard the words “hang in there”. Hang in there. Hang. In. There. Hang where? Where am I supposed to hang from? What am I supposed to hang on to? I feel like an empty void, so what exactly am I supposed to hang on to? 

They say I can manifest things. My thoughts become my truths. I think I’m gonna use that. I will use it until all the positivity has drained away from me and my energy source is nothing but light. 

So hang in there. Just a little bit more. 

happy (anniversary)

It's odd that I remember what today used to signify. I'm not really celebrating today, but I remember. And I think it doesn't help that Adele is playing on loop (guess what - Turning Tables is playing. Ha!).

I've been wondering about you lately. Just wondering. Nothing special, nothing noteworthy. Just wondering. You keep popping in and out of my thoughts, and I want to tell myself that that's ok. It's nothing to be worried about and it shouldn't fire warning signals in my head.

I think I am now understanding that it's not that easy to erase 7 years worth of memories.