Wednesday, February 22, 2006

all the things that i couldn't have

today is the worst day ever. just when i've started to get comfy, things get rocky. that's life for you.

i was at the brink of salvation. we were right there, i was about to climb off the edge. but he had to leave and he left me with nothing. and so here i am, falling again. i think i might have gone over the edge this time.

just when i thought i was going to be okay, just when i found something to hang on to, it disappears. i dont think there's any going back anymore.

[not for all the love in the world, THE THRILLS] you show your age / when you drown your rage / but i see past those laughter lines / so baby, lets play tonight / i got a tank full of gas till light / yeah we can drive for miles and miles / but you just said / 'Not for all the love in the world' / 'Not for all the love in the world' / cause she didnt realize, now thats a lotta love / how dreams fade / and all the underdogs get laid / left your heart in the hands of a jugglin clown / and so you crave recognition / but the keys to the city went missing / people are all puzzles to be figured out / but you just said / 'Not for all the love in the world' / 'Not for all the love in the world' / cause she didnt realize, now thats alotta love oh oh / i guess that everybody / went to a better part of me / not for all the love in the world / not for all the love in the world / but she didnt realize, now thats a lotta love.

this time, im full of rage. no more faking it. no more hurting anymore. they think its not important, but i'd give up the whole world for just one more. i'd give it all up for one more..you.

[dakota, STEREOPHONICS] thinking about thinking of you / summertime think it was june / yeah think it was june / laying back, head on the grass / children grown having some laughs / yeah having some laughs / made me feel like the one / made me feel like the one / the one / made me feel like the one / made me feel like the one / the one / drinking back, drinking for two / drinking with you / and drinking was new / sleeping in the back of my car / we never went far / needed to go far / made me feel like the one / made me feel like the one / the one / made me feel like the one / made me feel like the one / the one / i don’t know where we are going now / i don’t know where we are going now / wake up cold coffee and juice / remembering you / what happened to you? / i wonder if we’ll meet again / talk about us instead / talk about why did it end / made me feel like the one / made me feel like the one / the one / made me feel like the one / made me feel like the one
The one / i don’t know where we are going now / i don’t know where we are going now / so take a look at me now.

yep, you made me feel like the one - like i was one. cobwebs, cobwebs, cobwebs. im caught up in cobwebs that bury me further as i struggle to get out. constant, constant, constant. no constancy in life to look forward to.

what am i running from?

darkness

there is no single point of trauma that I can think of to explain how or why i react the way that i do. we were never poor, i was never mole...