originally, me.

i knew i shouldnt've picked up that vcd. oh but no, i ended up wasting the rest of the day watching it. and what happened? it left me feeling more depressed than i already am. darnit, i knew i should've acted on my instinct and watched "kill bill" instead. nothing like a good bloody movie to perk up the day.

i'm listening to 'lack of color' by deathcab for cutie. indeed, there's a lack of everything in my life. dont ask, just read.

i think it was emerson who said that "everyone hides his real character but reveals it by hiding." he couldnt've said it better. indeed, we hide. but we reveal and we cant wait until someone looks into what we are hiding. we want the whole world to know how we feel, but we dont want to be blatant about it. we want others to figure it out by themselves. its pretty stupid, if you ask me. i mean, we all have our own selfish little lives to think about, so why give a damn? and yet, we are called by our own instinct to forget ourselves and care for others. but still, we get hurt when nobody seems to want to give us the time of day. but then again, who asked.

sitting by the window

i stare at the sky.

the birds will sing

and the sun will shine

but my skies will be gray,

my world drained of color.

dont ask me why

just look at me

and stare at my eyes -

then you'll know.

dont worry, that poem's mine.

now i'm listening to 'broken glass' by adam richman. woah, that song just, well, it says what i cant. apparently, im falling back on music. i cant talk to him, i cant exactly tell him how i really feel, and we can never be together. in a way, he's too good for me. what could he possibly see in a hag like me?

all this broken glass, and its falling in my lap. are you out to bring me down?