darkness

there is no single point of trauma that I can think of to explain how or why i react the way that i do. we were never poor, i was never molested, i have no near-death experiences i can recall.

and yet, there is a recurring darkness that threatens to overcome me, that overwhelms me at certain points in my life.

and more often than not, the only way out is into the darkness.

almost lover

This is torture. This whole situation is absolute torture. Dear Universe, you and I both know this is not what I signed up for. I was pretty clear about my parameters, and I even made a list. Ha, a list! What part of that list was not clear for you? Why do you always do this to me? And I ask you why, you don't even give me an answer.

I'm sick of this. I'm sick of all these reruns. I am so done. When I get home, that'll be the last straw. And I think it's high time to finally do what I'd always been planning to all alone. Time to go to the final destination.