another unanswered request

i really don't know what to say or what to do. i just really want to get away.

in the meantime, i'm proud of myself. i am the 5671st petitioner against Petron Corporation for what they have done to the Guimaras Island andt the 3362nd petitioner for an immediate call to action from the Philippine government about the Guimaras oil spill.

other than that, i'm down in the dumps.

i hate the feeling of just waking up and realizing that you want to be somebody else. and so i tried to pretend that i was somebody else and dressed up differently. but of course, i couldn't give myself up entirely and so i kept the bracelet on. and i compromised. so i ended up wearing this pink blouse that i haven't worn in ages and the black leather shoes with 2 1/2 inch heels that i bought last year but have probably worn it twice in this lifetime. plus i fixed my hair, wore earrings and even threw on a little make-up. i even went to the extremes of acting like brooke. but to my dismay, although it worked wonders in putting up the facade that i wanted to show, it did nothing to ease the pain that i was nursing.

i guess even pretending isn't the solution to everything.

so then we turn to lying and wish that we can lie to ourselves.