Monday, November 01, 2004

of colors, movies, and clichés

I just got home from someplace where I spent the afternoon with a couple of friends of mine and one of my eye candies. I was wondering why I got myself in the situation. I mean, don’t get me wrong or anything, because I really had fun but… (there’s always a BUT, isn’t there?) I felt like something was wrong. Not only did the shirts add insult to injury (take note that the three of them were wearing white shirts and I was the only one in black) but maybe it was also the fact that I couldn’t relate to most of the stuff they were talking about. I know I don’t really make sense and this whole thing seems shallow, but really, I think something was out of place. But then again, it’s all forgotten now. I’m thinking that things like that, if taken to heart, will just build up to a heart attack. Small things really shouldn’t be taken into great consideration.

One of the services that send me these messages sent me something that really made me rethink a lot of the things that had been happening in my life these past few days. It says: “Be assured that the right person for you will see the beauty of your soul. You don’t have to change anything to be accepted by someone who wishes you were someone else. You’re perfect as you are, and you should be proud of that. Stand up for yourself before someone steps all over you.” I’m guessing this means that I have to accept myself as I really am, flaws and all. It’s ironic how I keep on advocating that “perfection isn’t really the lack of imperfection, rather, you are perfect because you are imperfect” and yet I strive to be a perfectionist within me and with everything I do. As I think about it now, everything that I do is an irony of what I say. I guess it really does stand true that actions speak louder than words. So anything I say now is just about useless as a penny when one wants to buy a car. But if you look at it this way, that penny is also very useful since if you lack even a penny to have the exact amount of money that you need to buy that car, then the penny is rendered useful, don’t you think?

…when everything’s made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am…

It’s amazing how people claim that movies are an imitation of life and yet, in reality, it’s the farthest thing from the truth. It’s as if there’s no bigger lie than that of the movie. No matter how they make the protagonist as that of a human being with a bad side, still it seems so polished that even the bad side is helpful in catalyzing the movie, or in most cases, its actually what makes that character so alluring in the first place. Songs, though helpful in expressing oneself also proves to be that of a cliché. Although songs are beautiful in their own right, they seem to tell the same story over and over again. The same can be said of books. No matter how hard they try to create a new genre, even being different is a cliché. What I’m getting at is that everything is typical that even if you break out and try to be different, it still seems that you are conforming. Even the word ‘non-conformist’ is a cliché. In a world where everything is built on lies and deceit, the only thing that is REALLY ‘non-conformist’ is honesty. Truth is the only thing that remains and stands firm when everything else has broken down and seems to be in shambles. Little white lies are seen from every angle. Even withholding something is considered as lying. In our own selves, we are conforming to what the world is dictating. We throw a couple of white lies here and there, and we even create reasons just so we could justify our need for the lies. Maybe rationality is a bad thing. With rationality, it is so easy to turn the tables to our favor and make a bad thing into something good and vice versa. What was once an Eden for humankind, the world has now turned into hell manifested.

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