another day. another year.

well, i guess i'm 22 now. pfft.

another year, another useless year. oh well.

so what if i'm obvious? nobody cares anyway, so here goes nothing.

i'm really scared to tell you that i'm not okay because i'm scared you'll get tired of taking care of me.. just like everyone has.

i'm scared to tell you things like these because i'm scared to find out that you don't really feel the same way. have you been thinking about me as much as i've been thinking about you? these kinds of things.

i know you're going to ask me about this, and like every other thing, i'll just brush it off. because in all honesty, i'm not used to letting people see what's lying deep within me.

anata wa tsumetai kokoro ga imasu yo!

D: blah blah blah. kalagot siya.
C: ano ka man. nagahanap ka ng away?
D: (napaisip) feeling ko. pero kalagot man din gud siya.

now THIS song says it all. it says what's going on.

are you not the slightest bit confused? just the truth.
the speed at which we move blends so well. it's too soon.
separate yourself from what compels you to relinquish us.
push your weight on to me entirely.
stay away from me, stay away from me now.
unless you're gonna see, unless you're gonna see me out.
no, i can't dance unless it's slow or sad.
to a song that's far less obvious.
you're using me, do it slowly.
make it last until i have to go.
trust me when i say just a few more weeks. don't move.
resist temptation, or do as you see fit. just choose.
separate yourself from what compels you to relinquish us.
push your weight on to me entirely.
stay away from me, stay away from me now.
unless you're gonna see, unless you're gonna see me out.
no, i can't dance unless it's slow or sad.
to a song that's far less obvious.
you're using me, do it slowly.
make it last until i have to go.
stay away from, stay away from, stay away from me.
stay away from, stay away from me.





- i don't know what's happening to me. don't leave.

tsumetai kokoro ga imasu ka

aaahhhh...

gusto kong magmura ng malutong. promise. tang ina. yun. kanina pa nun gustong lumabas. tang ina. bakit nanaman ito bumabalik ng di oras. tang ina. di ko na nakikita talaga. hindi ko na maintindihan talaga. leche. naglagot jud ko. as in nag mug-ot ko, naglagot ko sa akong kinabuhi. nawad-an ko ug rason nganong naa pa ko diri. bisag ikaw, di na nako makit-an nganong naggunit ko sa huna-huna na okay ra na naa ka, kay dili pud diay.

wala ko kabalo kung ako ra ni, o kitang duha, nganong nawala man kalit, nganong murag wala na lang gyud ko giganahi. wa koy labot kung maayo pa ba ni o dili na, pero naguluhan na gyud ko. dili nalang siguro ta magkita hantud nakit-an na nako kung nganong naglisod ko karon. yawaa gyud ani ui. wala gyud nako mahinumduman kung nganong naing-ani naman ko.

globes and maps

what i'm listening to: globes and maps, something corporate
mood: somewhere between desperation and contempt

pakiramdam ko napakawalang kwenta nito. walang kwenta rin ang mga pakiramdam na ganito.

one day, i'll see you walk out that door.

i hate growing up. i hate this moving forward, because it entails a leaving behind, it makes sure that you are faced with consequences that you never even dreamed of or even considered before you decided to move on.


do you wanna leave or something?

siguro kung hindi ako nagmadali, wala sana ako rito. siguro kung hindi ko inisip ang mga bagay-bagay. sila naman din ang nagdesisyon ng ibang aspeto ng buhay ko, bakit hindi ko nalang inalay ang buong buhay ko? e di sana wala na akong iniisip pa, wala sana akong pinagdedesisyonan. wala sana akong buhay.

scorn. is there no choice at all?

when you can relate, then it sucks.

"When Did Your Heart Go Missing?"

Love don't come so easily
This doesn't have to end in tragedy
I have you and you have me
We're one in a million
Why can't you see?

I'm waiting, waiting for nothing
You're leaving, leaving me hanging
When did your heart go missing?
When did your heart go missing?
I treat you like a princess
But your life is just one big mess
When did your heart go missing?
When did your heart go missing, yeah?

I meant every word I said
I never was lying when we talked in bed
I'm retracing every step in my head
What did I miss back then?
I was so, so misled

I'm waiting, waiting for nothing
You're leaving, leaving me hanging
When did your heart go missing?
When did your heart go missing?
I treat you like a princess
But your life is just one big mess
When did your heart go missing?
When did your heart go missing?

I don't understand
How could you forget what we had,
It's so wrong

I'm waiting, waiting for nothing
You're leaving, leaving me hanging
When did your heart go missing?
When did your heart go missing?
I treat you like a princess
But your life is just one big mess
When did your heart go missing?
When did your heart go missing?

Things were so good
We had a little dream
A little dream together
Buy a house, settle down, do our thing
But you disappeared on me
And your heart, your heart went missin'
I don't know how to find it
I don't know where it is
I don't know where your heart went
It was here just the other day
Now it's gone