thief.

i feel so bad. i'm stealing a whole person here. i really should stop.

i'm stealing someone else's inspiration. i'm stealing someone else's hope for hope. i'm stealing everybody else's hope for love. and in all this, i don't feel worthy. no, im not worthy.

i'm so mad because i let myself get this way. i thought i was okay all alone but it turns out that im not.

hmm.. i started a novel last year. it's called the diary of an 18-year-old suicide. i was thinking of finishing it, but i'm almost 20 and i'm still alive so, whatever.

i feel duped. like i was lied to or something. this always, always happens. and though i see it, i dont hit the brakes. the lights were all up in my face but i ignored it.

stupid, stupid me.