hey there.

what happened to us? we were so good together - or at least i thought so. i don't really know what you were thinking, i'm guessing you never really let me in. i thought we were best friends and that we could share anything with each other without fear of humiliation or judgement. but when i really needed you, you decided to judge me and toss me out the window instead.

i hate that this is still bothering me. that you are still in my thoughts and that you chose to push me away. i still think we can fix this, but i guess this is all up to you now. i just hope i don't wake up one day and realize that the love that was once there is gone, that i don't feel anything anymore.

the mixed tape.

drag me out to a deserted island with a guitar, an iPod, and a glass of water, and we can call it quits. you know, i used to stare at the door for hours hoping against hope that you'll walk through that door. i guess there's no use for that now. what use is there when hope is actually gone?

"this mix can burn a hole in anyone, but it was you i was thinking of."

time to say goodbye.

it's a lonely ride on a midnight train.

chill. relax. steady. center yourself. i get it, i really do. i just, how i wish you were here. i swing from okay to numb to sad to angry and back again in 5 seconds. i can't do this to myself anymore.

how can i smile when there are tears in my eyes?

farewell.

never felt this kind of cold before

a girl's got to do what a girl's got to do and a boy has to become a man. and i'm sorry for saying but it's love that i need and it's love that i can't get from you.

guilty pleasure.

hello.

i honestly don't know what to say to you right now. some days i can't breathe and i want to punch a hole in my heart, hoping the air will actually fill my lungs.

tears sting my eyes on a daily basis. so many things i want to ask you. some days i want to shake you so vigorously, hoping the answers will just fall out.

why. one question. just one. but its the worst one and it kills me every single day. waking up is, well, it's torture. is this what you have always wanted for me?

what else are you hiding from me? which moments were real and which ones were a lie?

i still don't understand why you let your fear get the best of you and drown you. didn't you notice the lifeline i tried to throw you? or maybe you didn't want to notice.

no one needs to understand how i feel. it's just there - and you, you yanked everything from right under me.