let's be honest, shall we?

okay. there have been a ton of changes in my life. for one, this was not the job i originally pictured myself doing. no, i never dreamed of working and living in manila. and no, i didn't think i'd be in a relationship with him.

some days, i think i let myself just run with the flow. and because i did that, i had to lose a whole lot in the process. it's not to say that i don't like where i am now, it's just that, well, i pictured things differently. but then again, you don't always get what you want, right? at best, you just get what you need to get by.

i miss writing. and when my boss bludgeoned to death one letter i crafted, i felt heartbroken. i began to question my writing abilities and thinking, maybe i am not as good as i thought i was. perhaps i am just as ordinary as the next person. i don't know.

i hate all these questions. i hate all these uncertainties and doubts.

perhaps i am negative. but that's what keeps me grounded. and being down here is much better for me than being stuck up in the clouds.

and no, i don't want to be stuck up.