in the most idle of days..

yehes. today is idle. but i choose not to be.

i could easily drop you a list of all the people i miss right at this very moment, but what good would that do me? in the whirlwind that is my life right now, i choose not to add anymore drama to the already dramatic situation that i readily shoved myself in. but a little phone call probably wont hurt.

hmm.. today, i thought of a lot of things. things so unimportant, that im sure nobody ever thought about it. like the difference between giving and sharing. these two terms may be ideally the same, but to me, they are worlds apart. with sharing, you partition a whole and give a part of that to someone. in giving, you give the whole, no matter how hard that may seem. with sharing, you are hesitant to actually give everything, which is why only a part may be given. with giving, you unhesitatingly offer whatever it is you have to whomever is asking. uh-huh. that is how i see it. you may not affirm. i dont mind.

here's the funny thing. a blog entry, for me, is like sharing. and my diary is giving. i share a part of myself. only a part for i am hesitant to give my whole self, all the things that i may contain. whoever gets my diaries (yes, in plural. im not kidding) when i "fly away" gets the whole of me. no ifs ands or buts. no holds barred (whatever that means. i just think it sounds right. tsk tsk).

and then, there's the thought on just forgetting whatever it is that is killing me right at this moment and leaving it all up to Him. He, that sent me here. He, who guides all my days. He who protects me while I sleep and He who opens my eyes to a brand new day.

i started this week with a very positive disposition. now, its the only thing that remains positive. my work can be very tiring at times. my living conditions can be very stressful at times. the people i live with can drive me crazy at times. then there's the people who i long to see. who i long to communicate with. who i long to talk to. and there are those who cant just get enough.

yes, time does fly. but right now, im still seated in the plane, waiting for take-off. and it really is taking a while for the plane to move. im getting pretty impatient.