I can tell you a million and one things that I think are important to know or to remember, but I'm sure you have a notebook full of those already. The only thing I can give you is a story. A story of how I decided this can't possibly be the only way and changed how I see my life and the world around me.
You see, I fought a long and drawn-out battle with depression. I like to say it in the past tense because I think I won - for now. My doctor says it's possible that it will come back, but hopefully, I'm better equipped to see the symptoms and try to get myself out of it. But that's not even the worse part, I also struggle with thoughts of suicide which, in no way or manner, am I proud of. I have had countless thoughts about wanting to take my own life in various forms. Believe me, I researched so many ways to do it mainly because I want a quick and painless guaranteed death. But alas, the odds will always be against me. 19 out of 20 suicides fail the first time, and those that fail are 37 times more likely to succeed the second time around. I didn't want to be part of the 19, so I researched the heck out of it. For some reason, though, I just couldn't bring myself to go through with it. People always say that those who think about it but don't go through with it are simply attention seekers. Perhaps its true, but that does not mean that attention is not warranted.
For me, suicide seemed to be the only way out when everything was bleak. I had my first suicidal thought in high school when, during summer break, I had come across a guy I thought was cute. No, this is not some cheesy love story. I had given him my number, we had spoken a few times, and he ended up stalking me. Suffice it to say, it was just chaos. And all this time, I blamed myself for all of the bad things that happened. It was all my fault. If I just hadn't given my number, none of this would've happened. No one would have been exposed to danger. It got to a point where, I swore that if anything happened to anyone close to me, I would kill myself.
And so similar thoughts ensued, in different situations and because of different reasons. I'm not proud of these thoughts. But I think, it's time we talk about it. It's not healthy anymore when someone you know commits suicide. This can't possibly be the only way.
And yet, we shun people who are "emotional", "negative", telling them that they're too much of a burden or they're a drag to hang around. Don't say that. You don't know what that person is going through, has been through, or will have to go through. We all don't approach life the same way. Maybe you can ignore the hurt and pain, laugh through it or brush it off, but not everyone is as equipped as you are. Worse, not everyone has the support system that you probably do.
Why am I sharing this? Because I need you to know that the next time you through around the idea that a person is such a drag, so down, and that they should just "change their mindset", I want you to understand that it's not that easy, especially when someone is depressed.
The National Institute of Mental Health defines depression as: a common but serious mood disorder. It causes severe symptoms that affect how you feel, think, and handle daily activities such as sleeping, eating, or working. They may develop under unique circumstances. It is caused by a combination of genetic, biological, environmental, and psychological factors. So it's not just about feeling sad, or "changing your mind" about something, it is serious and we need to talk about it. We need to be more sensitive, and we need to be understanding.
It's not a joke and should not be treated as one. Lend out a helping hand, or if you think that it's something that you are not equipped to handle, ask them to see a professional. They can start with some of these: http://www.cefam.ph/mainpage.aspx, or http://www.emmausphil.org/.
Don't be ignorant. Be vigilant. Be sensitive. Better yet, be supportive.
